How to improve confidence & assertiveness at work? (current consltant)

I completely relate — the early months at MBB are intense, and it’s easy to let mistakes chip away at your confidence. But here’s the truth: confidence and assertiveness aren’t things you wait to have — they’re things you build through small, deliberate actions.

Start by focusing less on being “right” and more on being clear. Practice framing your points simply and logically, even if you’re still learning. Before key discussions, test your thinking with a peer or jot it down in a structured way. In meetings, aim to contribute just one crisp insight or question — small wins stack up.

Also, reframe feedback: it’s not a judgment of your worth, it’s input for your growth. Even senior consultants make errors — what matters is how you respond and learn.

Over time, the clarity in your thinking will feed your confidence, and confidence will reinforce your voice. That’s how you become a trusted thinking partner — not overnight, but through reps. Keep at it — you’re already on the right path.

Hi there — thanks for opening up so honestly. I can exactly relate. On my very first project at BCG, I constantly second-guessed myself. My project leader was sharp, fast, and frankly intimidating. I remember walking out of check-ins thinking, “Why didn’t I say that more clearly?” or “Why didn’t I push back?” You’re not alone — what you’re feeling is more common than you think, especially in the first few months.

A few things helped me shift the loop you’re describing — from self-doubt → silence → frustration — to a more confident and proactive rhythm:

1. You made it in — now act like it

You weren’t hired by accident. You passed one of the most selective processes out there. That means something. Remind yourself of that when the inner critic gets loud. Yes, you’ll make mistakes (we all do), but that doesn’t invalidate your right to be here. Try replacing “I hope this is right…” with “This is my take based on what I know — let’s pressure-test it.” That mindset shift alone can change how you show up.

2. Anchor yourself before every interaction

One of the most useful habits I built early on: take 5–10 mins before any check-in to jot down:

• 1 key message I want to land
• 2–3 bullet points to back it up
• 1 question I want to ask

Even if the conversation goes elsewhere, this gives you anchor points. It also helps you speak less to validate yourself, and more to drive the conversation forward — a small but powerful difference.

3. Proactively manage your confidence

Waiting for others to validate you is a dangerous trap — you need to actively protect and rebuild confidence when it takes a hit:

• Ask for feedback early and often — this short-circuits the overthinking spiral and helps you calibrate faster.
• Track small wins: Keep a “confidence file” where you note moments where your thinking added value. You’ll forget them otherwise.
• Don’t tie your self-worth to your last deliverable — your trajectory matters more than any one moment.

4. Confidence doesn't mean Solo

Consulting is a team sport. If you're stuck on how to structure something or need a second pair of eyes, ask for help — but always come with a proposed approach. That alone shows ownership and sharpens your thinking.

In short: assertiveness isn’t about being loud or always being right — it’s about showing up prepared, engaged, and willing to learn. You’re already doing that by asking this question — and that’s a strong sign you’ll grow into the trusted thinking partner you want to be.

Happy to help if you ever want to role-play a manager check-in or get feedback on how you’re framing something.

You’ve got this !
Patricia

Congratulations on making it to MBB! The learning curve is steep, and what you're experiencing is completely normal. Confidence and assertiveness come with time, structured learning, and mindset shifts. Here are a few concrete steps that can help:

1. Have a Clear and Structured Point of View

Assertiveness starts with structured thinking. Use MBB’s core problem-solving techniques to sharpen clarity.

• Pyramid Principle: Start with your conclusion, then support it with logic and data.
• Pre-wire Discussions and seek allies: Test your perspective with peers before presenting to managers.
• Use data as a shield: When your argument is fact-based, it’s harder to dismiss.

2. Develop Executive Presence

Your confidence is perceived through tone, body language, and delivery:

• Slow down when speaking to appear more deliberate.
• Maintain eye contact and use firm, clear language.
• Avoid hedging phrases like “I think” or “maybe.” Instead, say “I recommend” or “The data suggests.”

3. Adopt a Growth Mindset 

Confidence is built through small wins:

• Speaking up at least once in every team meeting.
• Pushing back on one assumption using data.
• Summarizing key takeaways at the end of discussions.

4. Seek Targeted Coaching

If this remains a challenge, consider asking a mentor or manager for specific feedback on your assertiveness or practicing mock discussions with a peer.

Many successful MBB consultants have felt exactly what you’re feeling now. With deliberate practice, you’ll develop the confidence and assertiveness to be a valued thinking partner. Keep pushing forward
 

Hey 😊

First of all—totally normal. Many consultants feel this way early on, especially in MBB environments where the bar is high and the learning curve is steep 📈 You're not alone, and the fact that you're reflecting on this already shows self-awareness and potential.

A few things that might help:

💡 Separate feedback from identity: When your manager points out a mistake, it’s not about you—it’s about the output. Try to take the lesson without letting it dent your confidence.

🧠 Come in with a POV—even if it’s wrong: Building the habit of taking a stance is key. Start by saying, “My current hypothesis is…” and back it with logic. Assertiveness isn’t about being right, it’s about showing you're thinking critically.

✍️ Practice communicating with structure: Often, it’s not what we say but how we say it. Try frameworks like SCQA or Pyramid Principle to make your messages clearer and more confident.

👥 Observe & mimic: Watch how other confident consultants speak—how they pause, how they structure points. You can “borrow” techniques and make them your own over time.

And if you want, I’d be happy to help you roleplay these kinds of scenarios or simulate manager-style conversations to help you feel more assertive under pressure ✨

Best,
Alessa 🌸

Hi there,

Thanks for sharing!

A few things that could help you break that loop:

1. Focus on clarity first: Confidence often follows clear thinking. When your message is structured and crisp, it’s easier to speak up and be heard - especially in high-pressure settings. Make sure to package your ideas, using the Pyramid Principle (top-down, structured) and the right supporting arguments (data, analyses).
2. Pre-wire and test your ideas: Share your thinking with peers on the team or your EM before raising it in a broader forum. It builds conviction and helps you spot gaps.
3. Reframe feedback: Mistakes are part of the learning curve. Instead of internalizing blame, treat each one as input for refining your toolkit. Even seniors go through it - what is important is your potential to improve and course-correct (ideally, never make the same mistake twice).
4. Play long-term: Building credibility takes time. You don’t have to get it right every time - you just need to keep showing up (visibility is key), learning fast, and adding value in small but consistent ways.

If the situation drains you, consider adding your mentors into the conversation and collect their feedback and insights.

If helpful, I wrote a book on strategies for new MBB hires - focused on navigating exactly these kinds of challenges. You can find it on Amazon.

You’re asking the right questions already.

Cheers,

Florian

Hi there,

I would be happy to share my thoughts on your situation:

• First of all, regardless of how big your mistakes were, I am sorry to hear that your manager is blaming you for them. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed in the first few months of consulting.
• Moreover, I would advise you to remind yourself that no one expects perfection and that owning your development and showing progress matters more.
• Lastly, when you feel you’re right but can’t express it clearly, practice structured thinking and communication.

If you would like a more detailed discussion on your specific situation, please don't hesitate to contact me directly.

Best,

Hagen

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