Urgent Guidance required: difficulty dealing with principal

Question

Hello professionals,

I am a senior consultant in a strategy consulting firm in ME. I was doing fine until I got on a project with a principal without a manager. The principal had almost 0guidance and no effective work management which led to a serious delay in the project (due to a delay with the other consultant workstream) which of coirse affected mine. I was doing all I can and working 14-16 hrs to try to close the gap. The other consultant and BA were rolled off the project and they kept me. However the principal and partner’s behavior to me seriously changed. For 2 weeks alot of stress and blaming on me; kinda of finding a scapegoat.
I raised issue to principal which at first was receptive but nothing changed. I was also too stressed and mentally exhausted but still working as the project was delayed and critical situation ( ~2 more weeks to go). I talked to her again which was less receptive than first time. Nothing changed. She was pushing me so hard(asking me to create strategic cards and detailed implementation plan in 2 days). So I talked to her again; she became aggressive and told partner. The third time I was also abit aggressive as I was very drained Nd overworked (I would have 1 meal per day and sometimes its at 7-8pm) The partner talked to me and I explained to him the challenges. The conversation with partner was positive. However 2 days later, I got assessment from them; and it was NoT good; they gave on some dimensions cohort -1

To note the first time I talked to her, I told I want to exit the project. Her answer was that you cannot as you’re the only one who knows everything in the project and you’ll be throwing all stuff on me and the partner which cannot happen. And I agreed with her. And when I talked to the partner he opened the fact that I asked to be released, I told him that I do like the project and I don’t want to leave but logistics need to change. that was 2 days ago.

Now Im physically sick ( febrile) and with body ache. In addition to mental exhaustion.

I can go to the hospital to get a sick leave but Im afraid they will think I did it in purpose because of the assessment (that I received today). This is a end-year assessment (we do 2 assessments; a mid year and end of year; I got promoted in mid year so anyways Im not due for promotion)

1. Is there a demotion within 6months is assessment was not good?

2. What should I do regarding sick leave

3. What should I do regarding project; continuing with the project is very painful. I have been suffering with that principal since September which led me to seeking professional psychological support. Finding a different principal to work with is difficult as she is the only one in the practice Im in except for another one who is not good as well. I was contemplating taking sick leave then sabbatical leave but that means leaving them in a critical position; which makes me worried abt my future in the firm as well the approval of the sabbatical leave(to note Im an expat)

Answer 1

Hello there,

I am truly sorry you are having this type of experience. Unfortunately, consulting sometimes has this dark side.

My personal opinion follows below:

1. Is there a demotion within 6 months if the assessment was not good?

Honestly, I think the worst-case scenario wouldn’t be a demotion, but rather being placed in a program where you either improve in the next cycle or you’re out. The problem is that you’ll be working with this principal who already shown to be bad, or the other one that is bad too. You have to think about a plan here and reach out to HR/an internal mentor to receive guidance and advice based on the company’s policies and culture.

2. What should I do regarding sick leave?

I would take it. Considering what you’ve mentioned, you’re experiencing severe sleep deprivation, haven’t eaten properly in days, are febril, with psychological issues, are overwhelmed with work, and are under a lot of pressure. Beyond that, I would step up and fight for myself. Often, consultants accept anything out of fear of being fired, but I’ve seen two colleagues in similar situations who turned things around by taking a stand on what was unacceptable. You should think carefully about how to do it—don’t throw anyone under the bus, but make sure your well-being is respected.

3. What should I do regarding the project? Continuing with the project is very painful. I’ve been suffering with that principal since September, which led me to seek professional psychological support.

I don’t know to which company you work for, but at least at McKinsey, I’d advise you to leave, as HR would have your back knowing everything you’re going through. Also, it doesn’t seem that staying would improve your relationship with this person. You could use this time to think about your mid-term plans, as it seems completely unsustainable to continue working in this setup for the rest of your time at the company, specially considering that both principals are difficult.

Don’t put a job above your values and health. I know we work hard to get to these roles, but we also work hard to stay—and the minimum expected is to be respected both as a professional and as a person.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision! 🙏

Best,

Mari

Answer 2

Hi,

I am sorry to hear about what you're going through. No project should have such a strong negative impact on someone's physical and psychological health, although this happens more often than it should, and I had more than one tough project myself. To answer your questions:

Is there a demotion within 6months is assessment was not good? Instead of a demotion (which wouldn't happen at McKinsey, for example, but you should check with someone in your company about this), what could happen is that you get put on a PIP (performance improvement plant), where you have some time (a few months) to work on and improve your performance. It seems from what you wrote that you got your year-end performance review and it is negative across some dimensions (although not clear if it's the team feedback or overall performance feedback, or if both are the same). You should talk to someone responsible for your development to understand whether you are on a PIP or not, and what your options are.
What should I do regarding sick leave? This is for you to decide, depending on your priorities and circumstances (e.g., visa situation, given you mentioned you are an expat). One thing to remember is that you need health all your life, while this project is temporary. What would help me decide would be to think about what's the worst thing that could happen. Depending on whether I can accept that, I would go forward with my choice. E.g., it's not 100% clear from what you wrote, but it seems that the project has two more weeks to go. Do you believe that you can push through these two weeks and take time off after, or do you believe this would compromise your health? If you do push for two weeks / leave now, how is this going to change your review (given you've already received the assessment)?
What should I do regarding project? This depends on what you decide regarding the sick leave. As a manager, there was no project I couldn't handle if I my associates / BAs left the project two weeks before the end. Yes, I would've had to scramble to find a replacement (or do it myself) and would've had more stress, but handling these kinds of situations was part of my job.

I hope you make the right choice for you and that your health gets better soon.

Maria

Answer 3

Hey!

Maybe a few words from my experience to your questions:

Demotion Risk: It's unlikely you'll face a demotion within 6 months based on one bad assessment, especially if your mid-year review was strong. However, repeated low performance ratings could impact future promotions and project staffing.
Sick Leave: If you're physically unwell, take sick leave—your health comes first. A medical certificate will justify your absence professionally and avoid the perception that it's related to the assessment.
Project Situation: Given your physical and mental exhaustion, discuss with HR or a trusted mentor about options such as transitioning off the project or taking a formal leave (sabbatical or otherwise). If staying is unsustainable, prioritize your well-being and explore exit strategies carefully.

Alessa

Answer 4

Hey there,

First of all, I am very sorry to hear this is your experience. Let's just set this straight up front -

No one should need to go through such level of mental and physical stress for any job. Especially from your description, it seemed you were the only one holding the fort(e.g., everyone else was rolled off), critical to to the team (e.g., the principal is concerned about you rolling off), and eager to take ownership (e.g., you are still concerned about leaving the team in a bad position even after such a horrible experience)
The fact that principals/partners, sometimes engagement managers have to handle difficult situations when team member shifts, is exactly why they get paid A LOT more than associate/BAs, right? So you don't owe them anything. And the fact that they cannot handle your sick leave, means they have a problem to fix to do their jobs right. You have every right to do whatever is right for you

Now let's come back to your questions:

1. Is there a demotion within 6months is assessment was not good? I've personally never heard a demotion in a firm, but PIP is possible. If you do want to stay in this firm, now is the time for you to build up a stronger sponsorship network. I heard you mention this is the only principal in your practice, that is a red flag that your sponsorship network needs enhancements. Typically to have a strong staffing pipeline, I always suggest my mentees to have at least 5 Principals/partners that consider you to be top of their list. If you have any bandwidth now, start networking aggressively, look outside of your practice if firm policy allows. If that is truly not possible, start applying for jobs just in case you need a last resort. There are lots of triggers to be pulled here, without knowing your situation I can only share ideas but ultimately it is your call.

2. What should I do regarding sick leave: Prioritize your health no matter what - talk to your people manager (or whatever title it is in your firm that is in charge of staffing), raise the health challenge and see if any firm resource that can support you make an informed decision

3. What should I do regarding project: This is completely your decision, but I would not sacrifice wellness just so that "I don't leave this project in a critical position". Trust me, even if you rage quit today, they have to figure it out, that is why we have principals and partners. If they care about this project's success enough, and you are truly truly THAT critical that they can not afford to lose you, why keep you here and give you negative feedback? Shouldn't they treat you nicely and try their best to retain you? The fact that they don't want to roll you off and meanwhile treat you in such a toxic way, in my mind means the following possibilities:

they think they have all the power in the world to control you - which makes them arrogant leaders
they think they treating you toxically will motivate you - which makes them stupid leaders
they are incapable of handling a team well and project their stress onto you - which makes them incapable leaders

What you have experienced is not uncommon, but that doesn't make it right. Trust your judgment is all I can say. Some damages are possible to recover from, some are not. Some people are worth the effort and devotion, some are not.

Best,

Han

Answer 5

Hi there,

Look, first of all, you need to hire a coach.

This is the job/career on the line - this is serious and you need more support than a Q&A can give.

Get 1 session with someone to start to figure out the exact best course of action to take and HOW to execute it properly.

There's just too much nuance that is hidden here for us to give proper advice.

On a personal note, I've been there...and most of us have! It's not an easy job at all. Know that it's not your "fault" BUT there are also so many things you can do that you aren't currently doing to manage this better.

Please reach out so we can help.

Please also read this:

Consulting Survival Guide - Tips for Your Consulting Career

Answer 6

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